There we go again: another Valentine’s Day. Got to admit: it’s exciting to see what’s happening on the Internet today—the pros and cons, the jokers and haters, and then the trolls. There seems to be a general, insane drive to embrace a yea or nay opinion about Valentine’s Day.
Photos, quotes, events, emojis, hearts, videos, you name it, everyone is posting something. Those with a partner swear by how much they love Valentine’s Day. Those without a partner cannot wait to express their full-rage rant about how much they hate Valentine’s Day.
Sadly, everyone seems to be missing the point. Valentine’s Day is a day like any other day. We, people, give it value. If we want it to be a good thing, we see the good in it. If we want it to be a bad thing, then evil is all we find in it.
“Yeah, but Valentine’s Day is just so commercial!” some would say.
Maybe, but so is most of the stuff our modern lives are made of.
Honestly, how much of what we think about Valentine’s Day is determined by what others think? How much is it because we want to prove that we are free to disagree? And how much is genuinely our personal, unbiased opinion? To what degree is what we think of Valentine’s Day, a reflection of our own feelings? And to what degree is it a mirror of this collective urge to choose sides?
I am single, but I don’t hate Valentine’s Day. The reason is simple: hating Valentine’s Day doesn’t improve my life in any shape or form. It doesn’t miraculously bring the right partner for me. It doesn’t make me more attractive or more intelligent. It doesn’t make me happier. Valentine’s Day hatred—slash bad-mouthing—is unnecessary.
On the other hand, what’s wrong with seeing people who are in love? I look up to those who have loved each other for a long time. I take my hat off to those who make it work together against all the odds. Isn’t love the essence of life? How could celebrating it be a bad thing?
And so what if today I see hearts and cute videos all Day long? It could be the perfect reason to embrace positive psychology. If there are people in love out there, it means there’s still a chance for others. Right?
I almost hear some of you say, “Problem is, most of those people are not really in love. They’re just showing off.” But who are we to judge that? Do we have all the information to be able to tell if that’s the case? Or are we just assuming and projecting? Today is only one day in a year. How can we know what their love looks like in the other 364 days? It is impossible to be sure about what drives people to publicly express their love. We may make suppositions. But we cannot know for sure. To say that people are just showing off with their love on Valentine’s Day is unhealthy and extremist and downright unkind and inefficient.
On the other hand, why support the Valentine’s Day approach, which shows single people sobbing on a couch with a wine glass or an ice-cream bucket. That’s a myth—a very unhealthy and dangerous myth. This myth is why some singles are absolutely horrified at the idea of spending Valentine’s Day alone. It also results in collective bullying against single people as if something was wrong with them. Either way, this myth perpetuates hatred and insensitivity on both sides. And that cannot be a good thing for society.
To Love or Not to Love Valentine’s Day. That seems to be the question. But is it really about loving or hating it? Or is it about finding the sweet spot that doesn’t bother others who may happen to be in love but doesn’t make us feel bad about our lives?
Instead of hating or loving Valentine’s Day, I choose to be neutral, kind, and open. Being neutral gives me the clarity to appreciate those in love, even though I am not in love. Being kind helps me respect their decision to celebrate their passion publicly today. Being open gives me the hope that I may also find romantic love when the time comes. No matter how I put it, it’s a win-win.
To all the singles, for Valentine’s Day this year, don’t succumb to the love-it or hate-it extremes. It’s unhealthy to believe that celebrating only one day in a year will surely bring you a lifetime of love. But it’s just as harmful to think that if others celebrate it, humanity will be forever doomed. Respect those who wish to celebrate love publicly today, and you may feel better about yourself and your life.
I believe in a world where we can say what we think as long as our words come from good intentions. Affirmations like, “I don’t need Valentine’s Day to express love,” or “Enough with the hearts and kisses!” are not kind nor constructive. If you have nothing kind to say about Valentine’s Day, don’t say it! But even better, choose to be neutral about it!